Love, a simple word, a whole different world.
I’ve always thought that love was the most amazing thing ever, this could probably be because of the movies I grew up watching or just the fact every Disney movie made sure to beautify it.
But as I grew older, I realized that love isn’t as easy as it seems, you don’t just walk outside of your house one day and meet your soul mate, which brings us to a whole different topic: “Do soul mates really exist?” but that’s not what I’m discussing.
I mean sure, maybe people do fall in love instantly, maybe “love at first sight” is a thing, I don’t know. Maybe I never will.
But what I do know is “love” isn’t as glorious as you thought it is, you fall in love and it’s all sweet and lovey dovey and then something just goes wrong, you can’t put a finger on it.. It just doesn’t work out. Now that’s when you know what love really is. It’s more like a storm after a sunny day. Then you’re just left there, alone. You start to feel like there’s a hole in your heart and it just keeps getting bigger. And in worse cases, you feel numb; You’re there, but barely.
You try to get over it, you pretend like it never happened, but of course, you see a picture, hear a song, pass by a place and you just feel that hole again, it comes back. You keep trying over and over again to not let it get to you, you try to fill it up, you do whatever you can to make sure it doesn’t appear again. But there’s not much that you can do; and just when you realize that. You give up, you crawl back. Somehow you feel like it’s better to go through that mess again rather than just living with a hole in your heart. But then you remember that you’re afraid of rejection, you’re afraid this hole might just eat your heart at once, because you know what’s left of your heart won’t take it.
So you wait..
And before you know it, somebody tries to mend your heart, fill it up with love and care. And what do you do? You push them away. You build up a wall and you make sure that each and every brick is perfectly stuck to the one next to it. You don’t let anyone in, you’d rather be alone than have to go through that again, but guess who breaks your wall? Knocks every brick down? The same person you built up the wall because of. That one person you feel like home when you’re around them, that person that can fill your heart with holes and leave you bleeding, that person is the one you love. The one you’d rather die with than live without.