Change

I do believe that one of the worst things ever in life is when you lose a person you love.
A friend, a family member, anyone.
But what’s worse than that is when you lose yourself.
You see, as humans, we change.
Change is inevitable, but when we change, we can’t really know why or how.
We hardly ever notice it til we start doing something we never did, or someone points it out.
Being in your skin but feeling like it’s not yours, moving around in your body but feeling like a ghost.
Not recognizing yourself, tough.
I’ve been pretending to be something that I am not.. Well, something I used to be, but I’m not anymore.
It’s not that hard, really. Being talkative and, well, me.
What’s hard is the fact I can’t figure out how to run my own life anymore. When was the last time I washed my hair? Should I wash it now? It doesn’t look dirty..
Sometimes I even think I’m going insane, or losing my memory.
Forgetting who I am, where I am. What’s my name again?
That one person that makes me feel beyond perfection,
Is the only person who knows how messed up I am.
I won’t talk about it unless it’s important,
I won’t discuss it unless it can be solved.
But why can’t I speak?
Why won’t the words rush out when I need them most?
Why can’t I fight for the one thing I need to keep like I fight for everything I believe in?
Because I’ve changed. I’m not the same.
I can’t go back to how I used to be
I can’t talk about what’s bothering me
Change is inevitable, I will remember my name.

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About ranooy

22 poet http://www.youtube.com/user/Ranooyful

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